Meet the Greens

I’m so tired. So very very tired. Three in the morning aching for a wizz, go to the toilet see the silverfish I’m so tired. So very very tired. Awakenin’ out of a coma, face to face the local zygentoma I’m so tired. So very very tired. Arriving from the land of nod, confronted by a urinal arthropod. I’m so tired. So very very tired. Clearing a void in my urethra, there they are, the nighttime bookeaters I’m so tired. So very very tired. Needing a wee cos of the booze, I just got me the silverfish blues

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Bailey Dogger Wight German bight Southwest severe gale 9 Rain, then squally showers Poor Pinstriped puffins shut the door Lundy Bailey Irish sea Cromarty Variable 2 to 4, becoming westerly 5 to7 later Wintry showers Poor Gingham sharks patrol the shore Faeroes Fair Isle Forth and Tyne Northwesterly 3 to 5, becoming variable 2 to 4, then cyclonic, mainly southwesterly 5 to 7 later Rain and wintry showers Poor Denim cormorants know the score Forties Fisher Fastnet Sole Westerly 4 to 6, increasing 6 to gale 8 Rain Poor Hark the tartan sea eagles roar North Utsire South Utsire Viking Thames West or South west 5 increasing to gale 8 at times Occasional rain in Thames Poor Shhh the satin herring snore Humber Hebrides Southeast Iceland Northerly 7 to Violent storm 11 Rain Good, becoming very poor Beware, the woolen seahorses of Thor Fastnet Fitzroy Biscay Rockall Southwest 3 or 5 Occasional rain Moderate or poor From afar the tweed godwits soar Dover Humber Trafalgar Malin Northwesterly Variable 2-4, becoming cyclonic 6 to gale 8 perhaps storm 10 later in Dover Wintry showers Poor Pas op! The Flemish fleece megalosaur Portland Plymouth Shannon Biscay Southwest 1, occasionally 2 Good Towelling redshanks in the hood

It’s broke. It’s already broke, I just bought it and its already broke. It's bust. Already bust, Guarantees over so it’s turned to dust. It’s stopped. Out its opt, Stupid thing is just a flop. It’s dead. It cant be fed. Ctrl alt delete remains unsaid. It’s quit. A load of shit. Only good for the pit. Inbuilt obsolescence, forget any recompense. It’s designed to falter. you’re hanging from a halter. Inbuilt obsolescence, forget any recompense. It’s designed to falter, you’re hanging from a halter. It’s crashed. Completely smashed. It’s brand new and all is dashed. Ka-putt. Shonky prutt. Display shows me no output. Conked out. It makes me pout. Duped again by corporate louts. Brown bread. Completely bled. Electronics on the deathbed. Impaired. No repair. Total crap, I despair. Inbuilt obsolescence, forget any recompense. It’s designed to falter. you’re hanging from a halter. Inbuilt obsolescence, forget any recompense. It’s designed to falter, you’re hanging from a halter.

I’m in love with a customer service bot. She’ll gladly leave me to my lot. Say what a want she don't give a jot. I’m in love with a customer service bot. Cheap and cheerful for a date, Then she leaves me to my fate. Our relationship is binary. The java we drink imaginary. She’s the only person in my life. A digital replacement for a wife. She’ll say that she does empathize. Of my flaws she wont chastise. She puts me through her algorithms, And then plays with my logarithms. My input goes to her CPU. Quickly then its toodooloo. I’m in love with a customer service bot. She’ll gladly leave me to my lot. Say what a want she don't give a jot. I’m in love with a customer service bot.

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Crickets and tumbleweed. They heard crickets and tumbleweed. Not a jot, diddly squat. Just crickets and tumbleweed. Crickets and tumbleweed. They heard crickets and tumbleweed. No reply, no ally. Just crickets and tumbleweed. Crickets and tumbleweed. They heard crickets and tumbleweed. No reaction, no traction. Just crickets and tumbleweed. Crickets and tumbleweed. They heard crickets and tumbleweed. Not a like, on yer bike. Just crickets and tumbleweed. Crickets and tumbleweed. They heard crickets and tumbleweed. Now they’ve gone, the curtain’s drawn. Just crickets and tumbleweed.

I wanna be a wallaby, wearing garish clothes I wanna be a wallaby, with varnish on my toes I wanna be a wallaby, donning silky bows I wanna be a wallaby, visiting hippy shows A wallaby wanna be. Wants to be a wallaby. A wanna be wallaby, A wallaby that wants to be.  I wanna be a wallaby, skiing down rainbows I wanna be a wallaby, singing with sparrows I wanna be a wallaby, dancing fandango’s I wanna be a wallaby, drumming on bongo’s A wallaby wanna be. Wants to be a wallaby. A wanna be wallaby, A wallaby that wants to be.  I wanna be a wallaby, playing domino’s I wanna be a wallaby, placed in long long rows I wanna be a wallaby, watching the gardens grow I wanna be a wallaby, with lots of pink marrows A wallaby wanna be. Wants to be a wallaby. A wanna be wallaby, A wallaby that wants to be.  I wanna be a wallaby, pickling tomato’s I wanna be a wallaby, cooking for my bro’s I wanna be a wallaby, reciting all verbose I wanna be a wallaby, quoting vintage prose A wallaby wanna be. Wants to be a wallaby. A wanna be wallaby, A wallaby that wants to be.  I wanna be a wallaby, cosy in a bungalow I wanna be a wallaby, trimming my hedgerows I wanna be a wallaby, not bothered by fomo’s I wanna be a wallaby, not wanting to impose A wallaby wanna be. Wants to be a wallaby. A wanna be wallaby, A wallaby that wants to be.  A wallaby wanna be. Wants to be a wallaby. A wanna be wallaby, A wallaby that wants to be.

If you could see What you do to me. When my heart goes to thee. If you could hear. The rejection that I fear. That you may disappear. If you could smell Then you could tell How the love makes me dwell If you could taste, How you lay me to waste, Just one word, out of place If you could feel, How the cards that you deal, Makes my blood congeal.

This is a story of love Yes Love Love oh yeah love He’s batshit crazy, Sings like a whale-y Plays a ukulele ‘specially at céilidh He’s batshit crazy. Tired o’ being lazy He’s looking for lady. Eye’s are getting glazy He’s look for love Yes Love Love oh yeah love She’s batshit crazy. Wont say maybe Eats chips and gravy Smarter than Humphrey Davy She’s batshit crazy. Rides a bike daily Even when its rainy Looking for a male-y. She’s looking for love Yes Love Love oh yeah love They’re batshit crazy, Gettin all matey, Brains are going ‘azy Hup whoops a daisy They’re batshit crazy ‘ere comes the baby. Gonna call her Maizie, Shits her pants daily. They are in love It’s a family of love Love oh yeah love They’re all batshit crazy The ‘ole big famlee Pretty as a daisy Like a cassowary They’re batshit crazy. Quick as comet hailey. Goin’ through a phasey. All together… crazy Batshit crazy, batshit crazy, batshit crazy….

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We gotta bust out We gotta bust out From custody Custody We’ve gotta break loose We’ve gotta break loose Liberty Liberty Kiwi run Jailbreak sprung Kiwi’s stun Screws outdone Raptite Racing Raptite Racing How we flee How we flee Redwood rockets Redwood rockets Gitaway Gitaway Kiwi go Wi’ yer bro’s In the flow Don’t slow Bunnythorpe breather Bunnythorpe breather In Palmy In Palmy Feathered furlough, Feathered furlough Dilly dally, Dilly dally Kiwi fun In the sun Kiwi fun To Wellington Quick to the beehive Quick to the beehive Chuckpea heist Chuckpea heist Up to the 9th floor Up to the 9th floor “that’ll be the door” Grab the balls Grab the balls Falafel balls Frittered glee Falafel balls Wi’ Channa ghobi Fly to the wop-wops Fly to the wop-wops Tiki tour Tiki tour Run like the blazes Run like the blazes Tu miki Tu miki Kiwis scoot Wi’ legume loot Coppers chase O the fuzz race Pakaru policemen Pakaru policemen Pack a sad Pack a sad We’ve got scot-free We’ve got scot-free Beat retreat Beat retreat Munted cops Flatfoot flops Kiwis flee Falafel spree Sweet as.

Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Antirrhinum Your veg patch is full of slugs and snails Your veg patch is full of slugs and snails Your veg patch is full of slugs and snails Your veg patch is full of slugs and snails Your veg patch is full of slugs and snails Your veg patch is full of slugs and snails Your veg patch is full of slugs and snails Your veg patch is full of slugs and snails Your veg patch is full of slugs and snails Cauli cauli cauli Choi choi choi Cauli cauli cauli Choi choi choi Cauli Choi Cauli Choi Cauli cauli cauli Choi choi choi Cauli cauli cauli Choi choi choi Cauli cauli cauli Choi choi choi Cauli Choi Cauli Choi Cauli cauli cauli Choi choi choi C’mon the reds C’mon the reds C’mon the reds C’mon the reds C’mon the reds C’mon the reds C’mon the reds C’mon the reds Protective cloche Protective cloche Protective cloche Compost Compost Compost Compost C’mon you pots of green C’mon you pots of green C’mon you pots of green C’mon you pots of green C’mon you pots of green C’mon you pots of green C’mon you pots of green C’mon you pots of green C’mon you pots of green Marigold marigold marigold Marigold marigold marigold Marigold marigold marigold Marigold marigold marigold Marigold marigold marigold

It giet oan. It giet oan. It giet oan. It giet oan. Genoeg kou in noordelijke Helsinki. Snel kijken naar het bericht van het KNMI, Min een, min twee, min zes, min tien. Wie weet, gaan we het deze winter zien. It giet oan. It giet oan. It giet oan. It giet oan. Bij de kletsprogramma’s en in de kroeg, Op straat een vox pox met cameraploeg. “Gaat het door, gaat het door, gaat het door, gaat het door” Iedereen roepend, gelijk in koor. It giet oan. It giet oan. It giet oan. It giet oan. Tien centimer dikte, in het centrum van Sneek, Dik genoeg dat het niet zou breek. Kantje bord, niet genoeg ijs in Dokkum Gaan we toch dit jaar alweer mokken. It giet oan. It giet oan. It giet oan. It giet oan. Min tien, min zes, min twee, plus drie. It giet nie oan.

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I would rather like to be, here with you and drinking tea. Than travel to some trendy spot, stuck in a static parking lot. I would rather have clean sheets, it’s one of my favorite treats. Than sit with a beer in a dreary pub. Forlorn staring in a pricey club. I would really rather hang, In my hammock book in hand. Than take a selfie in a far off land, with my head stuck in the sand. You’re missing out, you’re missing out. You dont know what ye’re doing. You’re missing out, you’re missing out. Do you realise what they’re sayin’? You’re missing out,you’re missing out, You really need to cave in. I would rather ride my bike, Against the wind along a dike. Than be owned by a clog-like car, Chained to its pricetag its just bizarre. I would really like to eat. Home made soup made with beet. Than wait in line for hyped up pap. One or another tiktok fad. I would really rather sail In force one, Beaufort scale Than continue to persist With a never ending bucket list You’re missing out, you’re missing out, you’re attitudes a no go. You’re missing out, you’re missing out. Why aint you wearing yer logo’s? You’re missing out, you’re missing out. Ain’t you worried about the FOMO? I would really rather play. On my ukelele everyday. Than wait two hours for a pee. At a festival WC. I would really rather stroll. Through the park around a knoll. Than watch a load of caustic vitriol. Spouted by a some boomer troll. I’m quite happy the way I am. Its not that I don’t give a damn. But, I don’t need to be the best. quite happy to be the rest. You’re missing out, you’re missing …. Oi, OI! Stop it…stop it. I’m not. Be quiet.

Floating through the night, Drifting across the universe, Swimming through the stars. Wandering past the nebulae. Durch die Nacht schwebend, Treiben durch das Universum, Schwimmen durch die Sterne. Wandern Sie vorbei an den Nebeln. Over the edge of the event horizon Pulled into the celestial infinity. Speeding into the unidirectional membrane Bumping through the gravitational plane. Über den Rand des Ereignishorizonts, In die himmlische Unendlichkeit gezogen. Beschleunigt in die unidirektionale Membran. Stoßend durch die Gravitationsebene. Warp speed on the clock. Onwards watching meteoric Medusas pulsing. Hitching on the comets tail. Pumping up velocity to escape. Warpgeschwindigkeit auf dem Tacho Voorbei Medusen Schweben Hängend am Kometenschweif. Vollgas geben, um zu entkommen. Spat from a wormhole on Kuiper Belt A left past Titans haze. Skimming over lunar planes Slowing above Thuringia forest lands. Aus dem Wurmloch des Kuipergürtels gespuckt, vorbei an Titans Dunst. Gleiten über Mondplateaus Bremsend über Thüringens Wald. Home. Heim.