Everyone's least-favorite mage returns for another adventure! This one comes with a valuable lesson: you can only let so many princesses die before the king throws you out of the realm. Homeless, unrepentant, and ostensibly on drugs, can you help the Shitty Wizard as he searches the Hinterwürldfor for a mystical way to save his ass?
0:00
3:40
1
Dutifully I Leave the Castle With Only My Staff Plus a Purse Brimming with the Purest Uncut Poppies
Low Cunning
3:40
2
Sometimes I Dream the Hollow Voice that Calls Me "Fool" Might Offer Suggestions On How I Can Better Myself
Low Cunning
2:07
3
I Refuse to Believe This Multi-Level Dungeon Was Formed Naturally Over Several Eons Because there are Fucking Stairs Between Floors
Low Cunning
2:30
4
Statistically It's Not the Dragons, but Rather the Lack of Indoor Plumbing and Clean Water, that Will Do Thee In
Low Cunning
1:50
5
If We're Engaged in Turn-Based Combat Someone Tell Me Before I Start Lobbing Fireballs Everywhere
Low Cunning
4:30
6
Watch as I Boldly Descend Into this Dungeon, Synthesizing My Plans to Accrue the Means Whereby I Might Resurrect Several Dead Princesses
Low Cunning
1:43
7
Obviously If I Believed in the Witch's Curse I Wouldn't Have Talked Shit About Her Coven
Low Cunning
2:59
8
Given the Wide-Open Nature of these Plains You_d Think I'd Be Able to See Random Encounters Coming, But Nay
Low Cunning
3:02
9
Hand Over My Guerdon, Knave, That I Might Purchase Demeaning Prostitution
Low Cunning
3:32
10
Motherfuckers Really Are Out Here Naming Their Seed "Qu'arthon" or Some Shit and they All Wanna Grow Up and Wield Broadswords
Low Cunning
4:18
11
Pissing Off the Abandoned Battlements Onto the Heads of Approaching Brigands Deals 1HP Damage! Command?
Low Cunning
2:06
12
Archers are Such Little Bitches
Low Cunning
3:14
Credits
Written and performed by Z. Emerson Weston
Mastered by Tom Gaffron
Design by Gage Salzano, Studio Apt.