An ode to early console and computer role playing games, "Tales of the Shitty Wizard" puts you in control of the titular mage as he protects the Kingdom of Annwvyn from the Grim Dragon Asmodæus and his bloodthirsty minions. Unfortunately, the Shitty Wizard's arrogance and ineptitude makes life in Annwvyn a hellish slog where the sweet release of death is the goal of every townsperson.
0:00
3:27
1
For Some Reason This Overland Map Is Inexplicably Covered In A Dense Fog Of War
Low Cunning
3:27
2
A Horde of Orcs Have Broken Through The Gates And I'm Looking to Boil Them Alive, Not Just Simmer Them
Low Cunning
2:24
3
Actually Yes, If You Must Know, I Do My Best Scrying Whilst Drunk
Low Cunning
1:35
4
Somewhere In This Castle Is A Carefully-Hidden Switch That Provides Access To A Secret Antechamber (Which Seems Like Bad Planning Or A Design Flaw, Honestly)
Low Cunning
2:00
5
Summon The Scrivener As I Cannot Fathom What Arcana This Fucking Tome Conceals
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4:48
6
Invaders Have Broken Through To The Gatehouse, Part I—Fall Behind Me As I Single-Handedly Repel These Vile Assassins! Part II—As I Lie Among Ruble And Inhale The Stench Of Charred Townsfolk I Realize I May Have Misjudged Our Assailants
Low Cunning
3:15
7
So It Turns Out That The Dragon's Treasure Is Actually Just 200 Years of Feculent Dragon Effluvia
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3:11
8
Tell That Bard To Shut The Fuck Up
Low Cunning
1:23
9
No, I Wasn't The Idiot Who Forgot To Bring Torches Into This Dungeon And No, I Do Not Know The "Bright" Spell
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6:01
10
Fill The Village With Music And Revelry For I Return With Vast Riches And Esoteric Knowledge (Though, Sadly, Not Princess Brunhilde. My Bad.)
Low Cunning
0:46
Credits
Written and performed by Z. Emerson Weston
Mastered by Tom Gaffron
Design by Gage Salzano, Studio Apt.