Live in Taberna (Virtual Dungeon Crawl 2)

(Originally appears on Tales from the Fishwife, 1111, available digitally on Bandcamp and tapes/CDs through Barrow Hoard Records) "You've finally made it in the gate, and not a moment too soon. It seems they're about to shut for the night. Stepping in from the gathering dusk, you are lucky to find a seat amid the crowd. The act is about to begin. The tonight's bard is not one you recognize by name, you have heard stirrings in the crowd that they are 'not one to miss' and are 'known for a perhaps mildly excessive degree of panache...' In a whirlwind moment, the hearth's flame whips into a bonfire, and there before you stands a hooded figure clad in heraldic finery draped with leaves. Who is this strange arbor-man who now dons an ornate cittern? Only the night shall tell. He begins the revelries with a newly popular tale of a haughty elf who met a grisly fate somewhere in the south. You've heard it before, but never quite like this..." (Roll a saving throw vs. spells, or become enchanted by the song)

(From the upcoming album Loam & Lavender, coming soon to the swampy woods near you...) "With a snap, you are back on your barstool. No, wait, you are standing in the woods? Peaty soil softer than any lordly rug squishes beneath your feet. The air is hazy with a humid midday. The noontide fire of a summer sun is so oppressive you have to shut your eyes for a moment. When they reopen, you really are back in the tavern...for now..." (Roll a saving throw vs. paralysis or be blinded for a moment by the majesty of the forest which the mysterious bard has so intensely cast before you)

(Originally from Purveyor of Fine Curses (and Other Artisanal Deviltries), split w/ Dusk Merchant, Autumn 1112) "Spitting out a mouthful of slimy algae and brackish swamp water, you emerge to catch your breath. Your wet clothes cling to you, the wool soaked through. Damn, even by a gentle fire these will take a day to dry... How is it you are now in a swamp? You had made it to town before the night closed in, yet now all around you, a chorus of frogs heralds the gathering of the will-o-wisps... Both moons gleam above, one full and one gibbous, and the oppressive sounds of the forest night threaten to overwhelm your senses as they envelop the entire world around. Only a single burning candle lights your way to safety...or does it? BEWARE THE FROGS WITH BURNING EYES AND BEWARE THE BOG-WIZARD'S SINISTER SPELLS!" (Roll a saving throw vs. spells or begin uncontrollably gulping, croaking, or chittering like your favorite kind of frog or toad)

(Originally appears on Tales from 1111, available digitally on Bandcamp and tapes/CDs through Barrow Hoard Records) "Surely this is it...back in the tavern for real now. How relaxing it is to be under a roof again, away from the heat and the haze, the rains and the puddles. You find your mind a morasse of mingling thoughts as you try to focus on the stage again. The bard is still there, strumming his cittern with such poise you'd think him possessed. But wait, now a woman weaves her way in through the crowd. Her ragged garments flow with a certain faded grace that makes her resemble a living patch of hanging moss in the boughs of an old bog oak. She sways to and fro as if drunk, handing cups of wine to audience members. Come to think of it, a pipkin of Ghirimese gold would do wonders right about now...and by Valunn's axe and mother IIja's eternal wheel, if this mushroom and ale pie in front of you is not the food of kings, you do not know what is. What an enchanted night to have shared with these strange and rapt folk, each one of them nodding along to the fading strains of the song as if they knew to expect everything you didn't. It seems next time you may just find yourself becoming one of them. Maybe you can guide a fellow wayward traveler to this inn by a wayside rambling road. What was it called again?.." (Roll a saving throw vs. poison or either get a little buzzed or belch uncontrollably for the next moment or two, depending on if you've drunk ale, wine, tea, or the mystery brew known as Dr. Pepper)