...of the Golden Grapes of Ghirimar (Mushroom Wine-reduction Pie Remix, 1113)

(Originally appears on Tales from 1111, available digitally on Bandcamp and tapes/CDs through Barrow Hoard Records) "Surely this is it...back in the tavern for real now. How relaxing it is to be under a roof again, away from the heat and the haze, the rains and the puddles. You find your mind a morasse of mingling thoughts as you try to focus on the stage again. The bard is still there, strumming his cittern with such poise you'd think him possessed. But wait, now a woman weaves her way in through the crowd. Her ragged garments flow with a certain faded grace that makes her resemble a living patch of hanging moss in the boughs of an old bog oak. She sways to and fro as if drunk, handing cups of wine to audience members. Come to think of it, a pipkin of Ghirimese gold would do wonders right about now...and by Valunn's axe and mother IIja's eternal wheel, if this mushroom and ale pie in front of you is not the food of kings, you do not know what is. What an enchanted night to have shared with these strange and rapt folk, each one of them nodding along to the fading strains of the song as if they knew to expect everything you didn't. It seems next time you may just find yourself becoming one of them. Maybe you can guide a fellow wayward traveler to this inn by a wayside rambling road. What was it called again?.." (Roll a saving throw vs. poison or either get a little buzzed or belch uncontrollably for the next moment or two, depending on if you've drunk ale, wine, tea, or the mystery brew known as Dr. Pepper)