161 Feet Away: Shame Thesis

I tried hedonism, but never felt I deserved Don't sell me your army, I'll desert it There's no beast left for me to worship An idyllic little servant, use me for my service Accusing glances, little jabs No decorum left to grab Elysium in pieces, minor gash Don't you fucking look at me, I'll die in your eyes Sick of talking, sick of biting I'd rather be struck by lightning Nothing is excited, rather be intoxicated But I'm too disciplined to rules, so overrated So frustrated with my humble rebuttles I shuffle, on my dying feet To make ends meet, with no beginnings Pinning profits on the wall, biting satire in my bloody maw My skin is not my home, burden me Sullen boundaries, let you enter me Percussion concussed skin, sullen peaches Debeauvior, my debutante: said I'm only as bizzare As I project myself, so I'm pacing trails Around the ratchet straps and dragon tails Far more, confused than I am defined That's more hope, than I left inside for punishing So divine, oil refined; machine certainty Copious, in the opus of envy, burgundy tones Arose, from a callous home; what restriction? Pistons pumping, misfired Idle thoughts, pictures of loss, and distant touching I've found, that most art driven by sex or death Pick a muse, my sick new sense I felt the pollution in my aura, rising from the surface I know, I'm cursed with sour bits I've nutured Too recursive, bled me out, hurt it What's stuck between, the word's beneath Pick wire from the teeth, secreting history Catch the creases in the blindspots Carnal clots, little drops of vacant thought Sweat it out, until we pray it's over Twist the gears, until exhaustion holds us Too controlled, to lose my motion Too focused, to elude transfixition I kissed, a visage of my fated lovers Under the cover, of wood grain, splintered pain Betwixt, with engine flooding carnage Too tame to harness, to sweet to mame Who is left to blame, competition of shame No borders, in our melted frames The time sweet inside, like valentine's Forge a date for the lethargic No heights or bondage, just marytrs Hearts without our carbon I've got a pocketful of pardons Caught in the fraught margins Floods of sweat, more waves to be caught in Soft skin toxins, the thoughts slice me open Focused on beauty, a nebulous loss A cost, the frosted tips Distraught in brooding lips, soul eclipse More time for dissection, interjecting portraits We are data in orbit, disfigured courtship It feels, that all love just painfully morbid Deadly clashes, newly minted actress Erroneous passions, Lan Caihe distracted Sapphic dynasty, piety in fractions Caught in carceral gazes, navel pavement My self in aural detainment Smokestacks of envy, northern lights Despite the vapidity, rapidly despised I idolize, the bodies that are honest Transformed, to be sold, in a despotic haze Neot Kedumim razed, subtle shades of stubble Empire in a pubic maze, invisible hips Elipsis in my speech, alive with heat Sanguine solemn steeps, hills and thighs Yearn for days, without transaction in our eyes Carnal reprise, one moment without comparison Enraptured in wings of a seraphim Too close to the sun, no fun without shame Choral pain, windows rain glassy eyes and remains Our vessels split, between the panes Heckle my imperfections, dolls and games I part myself, to meet your gaze Claude Calhoun, in a meaningless daydream A dangerous scheme, in the haze Our photographic memories, gone in a blaze Now, there's only glory left Thelma, spare Louise the gory bits Too fast to call it quits, a monument To love, they will calm and quish Our palm, embalmed by a tyrants grip At least, I'll have my spirit, once my body drifts Pink triangles, floating in a death wish But that's all I need to be left with