Paranoia

When the voices finally subside I Find the emptiness more concerning than the noise When there's no input I can fill in the blanks in my head and I cant Be left with that for long Hearing things again Every voice is pointed at my head I cant live like this What can I do Should I accept this is me Expect the door to open Anticipating violence Afraid of every corner that could hide somebody from me I'm gritting my teeth I'm clenching my fist I'm praying for a future where I can relax Until then I refine my shell Carving out a space that can fit my new form Out grown Built it for a child that is Far too old now to use it But was too afraid to shed Hearing things again Every voice is pointed at my head I cant live like this What can I do Should I accept this is me Tired Anxious, paranoid Fully aware that the threat is in my head It doesnt make it hurt me any less It doesn't make it linger any less Stuck All around me impulses to ign -nore Is it permanent I dont know but it Seems that way [Wont go away] Hearing things again [Mental assault] Every voice is pointed at my head [Rebuild the shell] I cant live like this What do I do Should I accept this is me Turning on the lights again The shapes all fade away The shadows dissapear Walking on eggshells all day The light inside me fades I'm losing years of my life I'm losing years of my life I'm wasting days at a Time Tunnel vision losing sight again Cant hear a word you just said Feel like I'm a machine I fade to nothing I leave nothing behind