Twelve Step Sentence

Won’t sustain Feel no pain, just for a little while I’ll keep it a secret for as long as I can I’m so tired Just a shadow of myself The less I want The more I need (just a little more) Walking the tightrope across the fault line Fail to see the demons wrestling with me Keeping up appearances, I’m crumbling like the tenement buildings I’m parked between on the rain soaked streets in industrial estates, waiting for the man. Make the call, “Yeah five minutes mate” more like two hours, beating of the rain marks every second deafening inside my head hammering every minute on the windshield Knock on the drivers window, shit eating grin spouting some old nonsense story about “Sorry I was late because of business, anyway duty calls” and off again, just as quickly as he came. Whatever, scored now, hands trembling, as the matches flame gutters, as I peer to see the works between my knees in the iridescent glow of the light shining on the dashboard Climb the crooked stair Stone around my neck Given enough rope to hang myself Bury me in sand A mile from the shore So shallow I can feel the rain Climb the crooked stair Stone around my neck Given enough rope to hang myself Bury me in sand A mile from the shore So shallow I can feel the rain Evidence Wash away (don’t leave any trace) I know I can beat it but I need your help So ashamed, every promise that I break The lies spill off my tongue and you swallow them down, roll over for my pantomime, “haven’t eaten for days, can’t pay the rent” I’m very good at pulling on your heart strings The heart strings connected to your purse strings, I don’t want your sympathy, just want your cold hard currency, cold hard cash for stone, this horse I’m riding is a dead cert for the glue factory Crumbling like the gravestones in the cemetery, I’m kidding that’s enough of the gallows humour before I obtain enough rope to send me to the mortuary The door slams shut and the needle slides in, up to my neck, if you don’t like the reflection, don’t look in the mirror, my hands are shaking, body’s aching, mind is screaming mind is screaming mind is screaming! Climb the crooked stair Stone around my neck Given enough rope to hang myself Bury me in sand A mile from the shore So shallow I can feel the rain