Rosey Cheeks (A Pain in the Arse)

“So lost I was, that I found I had grown quite frustrated. At this rate, I thought, my expedition for nary half a cord of firewood would turn my undoing and some poor hunter or traveler would find my icy husk come the spring. Probably the best that it didn’t all shake out that way, or I’d have had to haunt that poor soul with my angry ghost. Still, though, in my frustration I sat down on what I thought was the stump of an old bygone oak. As it turns out it was just a snow drift, and…welll… I can still feel a stinging in my seat to this day when I remember it…” -Erbsto Bedherwyc, “A Frosty Epistle to a Winter’s Guest” Chapter II, verse IX