a betrayal of flesh
a fundamental wound
primordial error encoded
chromosome unduplicated
some days I could look in the mirror
and shatter my fucking face
but I take a breath
and wait for the hormones
to work at their own pace
my body, my whole life
shame, guilt, fear
you do what you have to to stay alive
and fucking persevere
I hated myself
and I wanted an exit
didn't care what it cost
didn't care who it hurt
all the love in my life
torn out and cast away
and nothing I tried for a single second
kept these feelings at bay
but it was not
for a lack
of trying
no one could touch me,
my body was wrong
unfairly lashed out at anyone who tried
and you deserved better
you who shared
a vulnerable intimacy
and you deserved better
than bearing witness
destructive self, in proximity
somedays, seems like
nothing satiates this skin hunger
