and I want to hold you so close that you clip into my body
and I want to taste you deeply from the bottom of my throat
and you infiltrate my dreamscape, I awake alone and restless
you exhume me from my icy tomb and I begin to thaw
and I've been alone for so long (my anxious heart is screaming doom)
that I'm scared I don't deserve this (my anxious heart claims too much room)
I am falling in love with someone new (my anxious heart whispers untrue)
fear is fucking useless
I bared my fangs unto the world (my anxious heart of quiet lies)
and all you saw was softly smile (my anxious heart of self-despise)
I bear my heart into your hands (my anxious heart can't fucking die)
and see a future worth our plans (and makes it hurt to be alive)
all roads lead to this haunted place (my anxious heart won't let me sleep)
of lust and fear and angel's grace (my anxious heart sows bitter reap)
and neon-lit I see your face (my anxious heart of ceaseless screams)
smiling without bitter trace
softly, unsilently
entangle me in black and red, oh
(it says)
unworthy of love
you'll never be enough
you earned your failures of affection
your failures of connection
it whispers vicious lies
to internalize
and you cannot outrun it
this inevitable demise
it whispers lies, it whispers vicious lies
it says unworthy of love
undeserving of compassion
you deserved all the abuse
and what's the fucking use
you're never good enough
you're never smart enough
you're never kind enough
you're never pretty enough
my anxious heart,
it whispers wretched things
but none of them are true
none of them were ever true
not a single
solitary
fucking
word
no
----
goddamn it I want you
like I've never wanted
like discovering hunger
without knowing of food
hold me closer in your arms,
I won't get lost inside my head
we'll share a peaceful dreamless sleep,
just come with me to bed
entangle me in black and red
