Sophie Moore's Effort

Suns out, just wanna be out and about. Don't wanna stay in, let the good vibes begin. Sundress on, let's get it on. Get on our bikes, bitch don't stay behind. We're passing all the pretty cafés, not passing them by, no way. Sippin 'retto sours, life is going by at zero miles per hour. We're just wiling away the hours.

I really love ya, you're so awesome. But you're in love with a man, and that's a problem. Can't be what you want me to be, and I cannot rely on your empathy. It's not there, at least not that I'm aware. Cause I feel like you just don't care, that I can't be who you want me to be anyway. Taking the wheel and drive cause I really need me to grow and thrive. You think it's all just for show, and it's limiting my growth. I'm not the man you think you know. I just wish you'd let me show, who I could be if you'd just let me grow.

I'm a stone cold bitch, I'm sorry. It's my low self-esteem, probably. You say I don't care, but I care too much. Emotions overwhelm me, so I shut the fuck off. Cold exterior, but I'm a mess underneath. Wish I could let it all out, wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm really not that horrible a person, I promise. I really care what you think of me, I confess. Why do I even give a fuck? Wish I really was this heartless. Fuckitfuckitfuckitfuckitfuckitfuckitfuckit, I'll be heartless. If that's how you see me then that's what I will be. Fucking heartless.

What the hell am I even doing here? Wasting away to the thumping beat. Got a plastic cup filled with regret so I guess I'm having fun. Dancing alone in the crowd, everyone's way too loud. Shuffle left, shuffle right, I will hardly set this dancefloor alight. Guilty feet ain't got no rhythm, well mine have a healthy conscience but it's still a problem. I'm bored and I'm lonely and guess after tonight I'll still be lonely. Up in da club, I really do give a fuck, cause I'm down on my luck and honestly I don't even wanna be here.

Let the waves wash over me, kissed by the silt, instantly sobering me. Salt in my mouth, it's like I can taste the whole universe. Submit my hair to the brine, like a baptism from mother earth. Moon reflects on the surface of the ocean, unburdened by the oscillations of it's motions. So beautiful it simply overwhelms my emotions.

I'm okay, I'm alright, even though my memory timings are not airtight.

Bathing in the mist of second hand smoke, I see you standing there, another bland bloke. Stuck in an eternal stare, longing for me but I just don't care. Your sweet nothings don't mean shite to me, they're just the product of you fetishizing me. Cause I just don't give a fuuuuuck, I'd rather see you choooooke, than see you lay on top of me, breathing in my neck all sad and hornily. What you see isn't what you'll get to you I'll remain a mystery. What you see isn't what you'll get I'll never fulfil your fantasy.

You talk about me like I'm a limited edition colourway, but you don't listen to what I have to say. About our trials and tribulations, the lost relations, ships, setting sails, for other horizons. Did you ever consider that that's our lives? Or did you really think it's all just rainbows, unicorns and smiles? So sorry for speaking my mind, guess I had an axe to grind. Did it hurt you? Did it make you feel uncomfortable? Fuck if what you said make me feel vulnerable. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. If it rubs you the wrong way I swear I won't. Speak your mind, but mind your step, be wary about who you upset. A fairweather ally is your friend until the end. Well I guess then this is the end my friend.

Your love is like a tightrope, I find it hard to mantain my balance. Your love is like a tightrope, sometimes I think you'd rather see me fall. Your love is like a tightrope, I think you're more in love with the idea of me. I want to be perfect for you, can I ever be less of an annoyance? I want to be perfect for you, can I ever be less of an embarasment? Can I ever be enough? Just to be seen in public with you. Can I ever be enough? So like you can tell everyone that we're actually together? Jumping through hoops like stuck in an eternal loop, doing it all for your love. Is it ever really enough? Feeling like a failure because I'm not deserving of your love.

You make me feel like a sack of dirt, not worthy of being heard. What do you care if it hurts, to you I'm just a stupid bird. Not good enough to be a flirt, cause I'm just a weird freak like Kurt. Your predispositions let's not subvert cause to your cave you'd rather revert. You like to act like I don't exist, amongst your mids I'm never missed. Put on the blacklist, dismissed, just dump me onto Craigslist. I only exist in your periphery, the real me you don't wanna see. You unwittingly broadcast your toxicity, shut off any critical thinking so blissfully. Invisible, undesirable, invisible, undesirable... nobody.

I don't pass so I'm not pretty, makes me not valid, an excuse for you to treat me shitty. I'm trans so I'm inherently unfuckable, until all of a sudden I am and then it makes you real uncomfortable. You say you can tell from a mile away, yet you find me so strangely arousing anyway. Putting your transmisoginy on full display, with all that nasty shit you say. My hole is disgusting so a handjob'll have to do, my hands are too large though so I guess you'll just need to fuck me in the mouthhole. Dehumanized I'm nothing more than a horny lapse of judgment, I'm that tr*nny that made you cum and now you hold nothing but resentment. I'm unfuckable but you fuck me oh so well, but then post-nut clarity hits and I can go to hell. And gee, ain't that just fucking swell.