Ruin Everything

Fourteen hour days I work so hard because I hate myself And I know what you'll say, but it's true See, if I take any time for myself Even one day All my fears will catch up They won't go away And these thoughts all come crashing in And they all say "You're not alright at all, I can't stand to be around you" I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I'll get through this I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I can do this To myself I've seen better days My eyes didn't always look so sunk in And these white hairs aren't from my age I've been grey since 22 I spent the better half of my life in the worst shape Running from my mistakes like they'll go away And these songs won't stop me from not being okay I'm not alright at all (Nothing's ever enough) And the voice in the back of my mind is saying (I'm not alright, nothing's ever enough) I can't stand to be around you I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I'll get through this I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I can do this To myself I spent three hours in the shower today Just zoning out and breathing My thoughts get pretty sick, it worries me Like, maybe I'm all alone in this world Or maybe this is as good as it gets or Or maybe that's it, and there's nothing more And it's my own fucking fault that I'm a mess I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I'll get through this I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I can do this To myself