All The Right Scars

It's just me, you know 5' 10", 130 pounds I spend nights at home It seems lonely but I rather like it I sleep alone The Matthews family tucks me in each night And I try to fight it But I want that life You made me something I despise But I can't put that on you Well, I guess I just did Something I can't shake 'Cause I fall apart when you look at me Habits I can't break Like a cringe entry in a diary I feel like I could die, feel like I could die Don't know till you try Could die and day now Something I can't shake 'Cause I fall apart when you look at me Leave me alone As far as I'm concerned you reached a new low When you said you liked me better like this I'm sleeping alone I get a full 8 hours now that you don't keep me up You can't keep me up You made me something I despise But I can't put that on you anymore Something I can't shake 'Cause I fall apart when you look at me Habits I can't break Like a cringe entry in a diary I feel like I could die, feel like I could die Let's try this one more time Could die and day now Something I can't shake 'Cause I fall apart 'Cause I fall apart when you look at me 'Cause I fall apart I think I used to matter We'd spend all our nights Watching MTV on your parents' couch And it's not that I want that back It's just the fact that we don't talk And when we do, it's weird And I don't want that No, I don't want that I think I used to matter We'd spend all our nights Watching MTV on your parents' couch And it's not that I want that back It's just the fact that we don't talk And when we do, it's weird And I don't want that No, I don't want that I think I used to matter I think I used to matter

My car won't start, I can't afford to fix it I'll sing this song and post it somewhere Pray to God that someone clicks And here you are While I've got you there's some shit I need to say My father worked his whole damn life Retired with his health Within a year he died And I can't say this shit out loud But I'm kinda jealous he got out 'Cause I don't wanna be here anymore Yeah, I don't wanna be here anymore If sorrow shared is sorrow halved Then tell me why this hurts so bad My head's fucked up I don't know how to fix it (Yeah, yeah, yeah) Every day's an uphill battle I've tried it all and nothing sticks I try so hard to be a better me But I'm not him today (Yuh) When I asked you to be my wife I invited you to hell To spend your whole damn life And I knew damn fucking well That this is who I am It's how I'll always be And I can't say this shit out loud But you'd be better off without me 'Cause I don't wanna be here anymore Yeah, I don't wanna be here anymore If sorrow shared is sorrow halved Then tell me why this hurts so bad 'Cause I don't wanna be here anymore Yeah, I don't wanna be here anymore I don't want to be here anymore fuck

I think about it all the time What if i was dead? Would anybody talk about it? And all this shallow bullshit, It's what floods in my head I can't believe the shit I just said I try to find something else to write about But I come up short I'm running out of things to say I'm just so lost I feel so lost I don't know how you even stay I should mean nothing to you I cite vacant, empty lines Where are you? I'm ever-worsening I never wanted you to watch me fall I'm writing songs to try to get this all out But running circles only goes so far I'm running out of things to say I'm just so lost I feel so lost I don't know how you even stay I should mean nothing to you I know you're better off without me anyway Yeah, you're better off without me I'll save you, I swear that's true I'll save you, please say you'll do I'll save you, it's what I do I'll save you Every time I try to find the reason why I've been so lost, I get so lost You always find the me inside the lie I should mean nothing to you I know you're better off without me anyway I should mean nothing to you Yeah, you're better off without me I'm running out of things to say (I know you're better off) I'm just so lost, I feel so lost (Without me anyway) I don't know how you even stay (You're better off without me) I should mean nothing to you

Wait I’m not in the best place I find myself admitting that I feel some type of way Fuck I’m afraid Of a promise I can’t make I can’t believe I'm saying this But you make me okay I think that you’re the one for me I'm broken and jaded It’s not complicated You’re all I know And maybe that's enough for me I'm exasperated Yeah, I just can’t take it You’re all I know And maybe you're enough for me Fate (This love) It's something you can't fake (Is something you can't fake) I find myself avoiding it I get in my own way (I try, I try, I try) But I can’t find a reason to give up and back out I’m in my feelings again ‘Cause you’re only the one for me I'm broken and jaded It’s not complicated You’re all I know And maybe that's enough for me I'm exasperated Yeah, I just can’t take it You’re all I know And maybe you're enough for me Yeah, maybe you're enough for me Yeah, maybe that’s enough Green-haired Canadian girls are my weakness Green-haired Canadian girls are my weakness (So this is life) Green-haired Canadian girls (This is evetrything we are) Are my weakness (This is us) Green-haired Canadian girls (This is everything we need to be) I'm broken and jaded It’s not complicated You’re all I know Maybe that's enough for me I'm exasperated Yeah, I just can’t take it You’re all I know And maybe you're enough for me I'm broken and jaded Green-haired Canadian girls are my weakness It's not complicated Green-haired Canadian girls are my weakness I'm broken and jaded Green-haired Canadian girls are my weakness It's not complicated Green-haired Canadian girls are my weakness

You're shaking like a nervous wreck I've watched you fall apart And feign that it's okay You're tracing out your next escape But it's too far too fall And you're about to break I know you want to let go And I'm afraid that I'm too late Go Nothing, forever: it's all that I know A feeling only I can understand A lie that I tell to myself I feel its grip around me again I'm begging for an answer 'Cause I'm done with everything I know Know this forever, you're never alone A feeling only I can understand You're better now, or so you think I've watched you force a smile And feign that you're okay You tend to dissociate It's like the world's a fog And you're lost in its haze I know you want to let go And I'm afraid that I'm too late Go Nothing, forever: it's all that I know A feeling only I can understand A lie that I tell to myself I feel its grip around me again I'm begging for an answer 'Cause I'm done with everything I know Know this forever, you're never alone A feeling only I can understand I feel like I am only days away from checking myself out I feel alive when I have one foot in the grave and I'm here now I feel an aching sense of nothingness and not a whole lot else I feel alone and I can't breathe Go Nothing, forever: it's all that I know A feeling only I can understand A lie that I tell to myself I feel its grip around me again I'm begging for an answer 'Cause I'm done with everything I know Know this forever, you're never alone A feeling only I can understand

Fourteen hour days I work so hard because I hate myself And I know what you'll say, but it's true See, if I take any time for myself Even one day All my fears will catch up They won't go away And these thoughts all come crashing in And they all say "You're not alright at all, I can't stand to be around you" I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I'll get through this I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I can do this To myself I've seen better days My eyes didn't always look so sunk in And these white hairs aren't from my age I've been grey since 22 I spent the better half of my life in the worst shape Running from my mistakes like they'll go away And these songs won't stop me from not being okay I'm not alright at all (Nothing's ever enough) And the voice in the back of my mind is saying (I'm not alright, nothing's ever enough) I can't stand to be around you I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I'll get through this I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I can do this To myself I spent three hours in the shower today Just zoning out and breathing My thoughts get pretty sick, it worries me Like, maybe I'm all alone in this world Or maybe this is as good as it gets or Or maybe that's it, and there's nothing more And it's my own fucking fault that I'm a mess I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I'll get through this I feel like I ruin everything And I don't know if I can do this To myself

Make those fuckers bleed I want to see nazi heads rolling in the streets I can't believe that they share the air we breathe Now sing with me Make those fuckers bleed I want to see nazi heads rolling in the streets I’m ten toes down, my chest is out It’s insulting that they breathe the same air I breathe I don’t believe my eyes What’s happening, what’s happening? It’s tactless It’s tasteless It’s obvious, you can’t deny it I don’t believe my eyes I’m watching you do nothing I’m watching me say nothing at all Speak up I can’t stay silent, it needs to be said We need to hunt them down And shoot them dead I won’t apologize, it needs to be said Over and over, again and again Make those fuckers bleed It’s up Make those fuckers bleed Make those fuckers bleed But who am I? I empathized I saw misguided people struggling to get through life I was wrong The more I learn, the more I realize Their hearts are just hate Their joy is your pain And I’m no saint, but holy shit Are we really doing nazis again? Are they really out here chanting nazi slogans? Motherfucker they have been Motherfucker, they HAVE been You don’t win with sympathy, okay? You don’t win by talking with a nazi Even if you’re pointing out their rampant hypocrisy Nobody is going to save us It's our turn It's us We're up It’s right before our eyes It’s happening, it’s happening It’s tactless, it’s tasteless, it’s obvious It’s right before our eyes It’s happening, it’s happening Get tactless, and say it with me It’s always okay to punch a nazi

Peeing in the toilet Is the hardest thing I've done Pooing off the back seat Is always so much fun And you try to hit the back So it won't bounce back on your face Oh, no! Peeing in the toilet Your love is sick And all I do is wrong The pain is in my back again It's aching and I can't pretend I'm not older, and over again I'm tired and I can't contend I had a thought, but then it left I'm just getting old I guess Peeing in the toilet Is the hardest thing I've done Pooing off the back seat Is always so much fun And you try to hit the back So it won't bounce back on your face Oh, no! Peeing in the toilet Your love is sick And all I do is wrong Go All I do is wrong All I do is wrong

Death couldn't be lonelier than you If home is where you make it Then I'd never make it anywhere You say, "Sit with me, I know you'll be better off if we just sit down and talk" But you won't listen, please I want to leap off a bridge with a backpack full of rocks And nothing you could ever do will change that And nothing anyone can say Could ever take away the fact that Death couldn't be lonelier than you Lonelier than you, lonelier than you I'm saying death, to me It's too good to be true If home is where the heart is Then I promise that I'll never love again When something in the air around you changes It's something I can't taste or touch or feel But everything you say Just comes out all the same old shit And I can't bring myself to understand or hear Nothing you could ever say will change that And nothing anyone could ever do Can take away the fact that Death couldn't be lonelier than you Lonelier than you, lonelier than you I'm saying death, to me It's too good to be true If home is where the heart is Then I promise that I'll never love again Never love again

I’m misdiagnosed It’s all caving in You’re saying you’re sorry And I don’t know why 'Cause it’s nothing you did It’s suddenly too late You’ve already left ‘Cause I won’t say sorry for wanting to die But I meant what I said Me? I’m a mess Not the kind you clean or fix But the kind that you detest I’m shit out of hope I want this to end I’m changing my number and selling our home Where you left me for dead You didn’t talk to me You just fucking left I’ll never say sorry for trying to die Kinda wish that I did Kinda wish that I did Me? I’m a mess Not the kind you clean or fix But the kind that you detest The kind that you detest Me? I’m a mess Not the kind you clean or fix But the kind that you detest The kind that you detest You couldn’t lose me So you threw me away Eugh Ain’t that some shit? Make it make sense You threw me away I’m in my own way and you’ll never find me I’m in my own way again I’m in my own way and you’ll never find me I’m in my own way again

So miserable it hurts It's too much My face is numb to the touch I shake and I wince, weep, sleep, and repeat I'm so sick Do you recognize me? I'm not who I once was Yeah, something changed me Something broke Do you even see me? I'm not who I once was I'm not who I once was You take the wind from my wings You make it harder just to breathe You take the meaning from everything You make me clench my teeth I wake up drenched in sweat I'm entertaining thoughts of death Like I won't be here Like I won't be here Like I won't be here Like I won't be You take the me out of me You take the me out of me You take the me out of me You take the me out of me You take the wind from my wings You make it harder just to breathe You take the meaning from everything You make me clench my teeth I wake up drenched in sweat I'm entertaining thoughts of death You take the me out of me You take the me out of me

This can't be healthy This thing between us It's gonna hurt but it's the truth I've been feeling empty I need to get cleaned up Yeah, I need to wash my hands from you Stay away from me It's for your own good, and I'll Stay away from you We'll be better off if we both go I need you gone, but don't go too far I feel a lack of energy and overwhelmed with apathy And lately I'm distracted by excuses and the reason why What you think is what you are I think I'll never be good enough I know I'll never be good enough I'd rather run away from all my problems than fix them All the right scars in all the right places I want to tell my friends that I need help but can't face them All the right scars in all the right places Stay away from me It's for your own good, and I'll Stay away from you We'll be better off if we both go I need you gone, but don't go too far I'd rather run away from all my problems than fix them All the right scars in all the right places I want to fall asleep and go so deep you can't wake me All the right scars in all the right places I want to tell my friends that I need help but can't face them All the right scars in all the right places I'd rather chug a bottle of ammonia and bleach instead Instead This can't be healthy This thing between us It's gonna hurt but it's the truth Stay away from me It's for your own good, and I'll Stay away from you We'll be better off if we both go I need you gone, but don't go too far