All is Phantom

I have no destination no place to call my own no house or habitation a hovel or a home It was the sound of aggravation that drove me from my rest the ceaseless abnegation a knot inside my chest ...and I walk on and on... The weather cannot stop me not the rain, or sleet, or snow a great fire burns within me and urges me to go For I am that clambering specter underneath the trees a mirthless gallivanter walking sleepily ...and I walk on and on How I long to hang my weary head rest these legs on a feathery bed how I long to end this journey on and on... my body tires ...and all the despair that I have ever felt in a lifetime is now gone... Forever...

I was drifting in the wildest of rivers I knew not how I arrived The trees were watching me from overhead as I floated by they creaked their indifference to my cries I longed not for them to reach out for me to ignore the tears in my eyes I yearned to stay in the water that flowed over me (for it) to pull me under and down I thought that my life was my own to end. it is not mine am I destined or damned to stay in the mire? or am I to be drawn out into the sea in kind? My life belongs to the River drifting away with the tide... As I drift away with the tide... As I drift away with the tide... As I drift away with the tide... I was drifting in the wildest of rivers I knew, then, how I arrived The trees were watching me from overhead as I floated by and creaked their indifference to my sighs I so wanted them to reach out for me to see the tears in my eyes please do not let me be drawn out to the sea do not let the water pull me under... I thought that my soul was my own to claim it is not mine I am destined and damned to stay in the mire I am to be drawn out into the sea for all time my soul belongs to the River drifting away with the tide... drifting away with the tide... drifting away with the tide... drifting away with the tide... as I drift away with the tide... as I drift away with the tide... as I drift away with the tide...

I thank you for when I took my first step, Though, admittedly, I have taken several back in the intervening years. For you are no longer here to help guide the way through paths dark and veiled. On your final journey you have set sail... I see your spirit drifting on the wind and through the clouds. I feel your presence in every drop of rain, and though you've gone away to leave us here on earthen ground. To exist on some other, far-flung plane. The memories will never die in spite of my wishes that they would. Not a day goes by that I do not think of you. In my dreams, you are very much alive. ...And I awake for sadness to set in... And now you've gone away to leave me here without a sound, to exist along some nonexistent plane. I see your spirit crawling through the ocean and the dirt. I feel your presence in every drop of rain. The moment has passed us by, That moment when you were still by my side, and everything you said to me amounts to a distant echo in my head And now you're on your way through the wind and through the clouds to exist on some far, celestial plane and all the while the rest of us left behind, on earthen ground, feel your presence in every drop of rain Time keeps passing us by. I still hope for you to be by my side, and everything you taught to me amounts to nothing in the end...

If I could, I would hold onto the time when I was young, hang it on a wall and re-frame it so that the intervening years would not go to shape me into the man I would become I would close my eyes... ...and keep my dreams inside turn back time and tide keep my dreams inside (never waste them) keep my dreams inside If I could, I would fold my hands upon my heart upon my heart at the times I have I transgressed without thought my apologies and my mea culpas would ring out at the start of the clouds looming above me I'll keep my dreams inside turn back time and tide I would close my eyes and pray for rain I'll keep my dreams inside Bring my dreams inside Bring my dreams inside Bring my dreams inside I will bring my dreams inside I would hold your hand if you deigned to put it in mine beseech the sky to keep you with me It is far too cold out there oh my love, oh my love the outside world is not for me I'll keep my dreams inside I'll turn back time and tide I will close my eyes and pray for rain (I will) keep my dreams inside

(instrumental)

Gestures you have made in prayer towards a forlorn sky have yet to be answered by god and man. Words screamed by spent lungs from the top of a great mountain are left unheard by god and man. When the smoke clears, it will not really matter all. Dreams you were so careful to formulate (are) left unanswered to the call, and you sigh “Oh...” I woke up weeping in the middle of the night, my prayers unanswered by god and man. My room is barely illuminated by the moon outside. It stands triumphant in the presence of gods and men. When the sun is risen it will not even matter at all. I am but dust in the middle of the fall, and I scream “Oh...” It is only you and I tangled within these sheets that can allay every fear that we have of god and man. While the sky is falling it will not even matter at all. We will be together once and for all, crying “Oh...”

On this auspicious night, we have come to take you away, whisk you away from sight, and save you for another day. and oh, how you will fight, scream, scratch, and claw... As if it were your right to escape the gaping maw of … Nighttime falling There is no escape from Nighttime falling There is no escape... You gave us such a fright when you would not come willingly. We had to put our hands on your mouth to stop you from screaming. We prayed to whatever beings or fairweather gods may exist out there in the great vastation... to silence you, for... Nighttime is falling There is no escape from the falling of night 'tis time to go sailing... “But do not be afraid, child. This is for your own good, and for the well-being of others. You will come to love us, in due time...in due time. For the dark waves of the sea do call out for you child...do you not hear their lofty cries? For the clouds that gather overhead, and thunder-claps that wake the dead, are but auspices and portents of what is to come...of what we are about to do...to you.” On this auspicious night, we will come to take you away, whisk you away from sight, and save you for another day... Nighttime drowning Waves are crashing Nighttime drowning Everlasting...

Just when you think it's part of you, It goes away... Slack-jawed, You fall down to your knees, as If to pray... You crawl on all fours and fruitlessly beg it to stay... It merely touches your cheek softly, and fades away.

What is your name, ghost? Who are you and what is your purpose here? Do you need guidance, a light to show the way through empty doorways devoid of roof and wall? Please do not turn to go, For I long to help you, and I could swear that the wind blowing around me was just your presence in my ear. Who are you, bright star? I think I know you well. I saw your light from afar, and it was shining for me and me alone. Why do you turn to go? I can get you to where you need to go, for I could swear that the rain falling upon me was just your presence all around. Please do not turn to go, for I long to help you, and I could swear that the fire that protects me was just your presence all around. I will go where e'er you go for this path is mine as well, from the highest heavens, at the sounding of the knell. Please do not turn to go, for I long to help you, for I could swear that the wind blowing around me was just your whispering in my ear

You left me at the cusp of true adulthood, and yet I was far too young to be thrust into the gaping maw of a breathing world that I am so afraid of Goodbye To the stories in bed Goodbye to the actor in my head Goodbye... Goodbye... I wish I could introduce you to all the good people I have met, music I have heard, and films I have seen since then, but most of all I wish that I had the chance to say... Goodbye To the years you were in my life Goodbye to when I call in times of strife Goodbye... Goodbye... I banish every thought of you for fear that I would be seen to be too vulnerable, but the very thought of you gives me power. Your ghost is what I feel behind me. It gives me the strength to say... Goodbye To all the gray hairs in the sink Goodbye To conversations over which we would never drink Goodbye... Goodbye... In my heart of hearts I know that you were at peace in the end. As you slowly went to sleep, never to wake up again and we on the ground lifted our heads up to the sky. We dared not say the word... Goodbye To the father I love Goodbye to the boy down below Goodbye... Goodbye... And for the first time in my life I feel that I am at a loss for words but inwardly I am screaming, begging, crying to be heard. Yet no sound emits from this throat, dry from crying. I refuse to say... ...and eternally I will be waiting for a sign, a glimmer of recognition within a dying star in a darkened sky, but it is one final breath, a shudder, a forceful closing of the eyes. I am now prepared to say... ...Goodbye...