RUINED CASTLE

I look to the moon and know that I’ve been wrong Where’s the star that keeps me safe? Earthquake under my life keeps shaking up I grab only what i can take Fire trucks and politics I‘m tired of it Found a ditch; a quick place to hide Can’t breathe with the suffocating steps above No sense in keeping your pride And I will never be anything better than what I know I keep thinking I belong And I will never be anything better than what I know I keep thinking I belong Moments flash before your eyes as you make haste The world collapsing around you No control of anything you hesitate A good man’s got so much to lose ‘Cause I will never be anything better than what I know I keep thinking I belong And I will never be anything better than what I know I keep thinking I belong Stay in Look up Let out Breathe Come up Blow out Destruct Free

sun high in the sky over the front sunset in the back over an empty chair read all the books that you can terror still of the unknown a rocking chair on wheels is not a place for a girl like you what can I do to build some hope inside my baby's heart? I need to get you through

She’s got a dream inside of her head The ending has us dead She can’t help thinking she deserved this Keep eating what they fed She wanted love in the right ways A spiral never undone Her mind is always on fire Every direction she loops around the sun She spent her 20s checking news feeds Well, how'd you spend your time? She’s got demons she ain’t proud of I know she’ll make it up to me sometime And because of you i feel i’m worth it feel the blood rush into my veins Because of you i feel i’m worth it with your blood i feel everything She’s like the lady Madonna She’s a mermaid with a spike She wants a party at dinner She’s a pretty flower reaching for the light Because of you i feel i’m worth it feel the blood rush into my veins Because of you i feel i’m worth it with your blood i feel everything Because of you i feel i’m worth it without you i’m down on my knees Because of you i feel i’m worth it when i’m with you i’m worth everything I dream I watch the sun come down Across this angry town We’ll never end up found We’ll never end up found Because of you i feel i’m worth it feel the blood rush into my veins Because of you i feel i’m worth it with your blood i feel everything Because of you i feel i’m worth it feel the blood rush into my veins Because of you i feel i’m worth it with your blood i feel everything Because of you i feel i’m worth it feel the blood rush into my veins Because of you i feel i’m worth it with your blood i feel everything Because of you i feel i’m worth it feel the blood rush into my veins Because of you i feel i’m worth it with your blood i feel everything --- I'll have my baby soon I’ve gotta get this feeling out of the way The city’s pulling me into the bay I’ve gotta get this feeling out of the way The city’s pushing me into the bay

You didn’t see me from the other way But I saw you from the other side And I was running backwards in rewind To catch the tail end of the time that I caught your eyes at the finish line Now I am old and worn I sit in my chair and watch the people go by All lively quickened steps they go And all I do is move my ankles to and fro To and fro And i paint a lot of pictures of cats And knit some sweaters that i can’t un-knit back And hand them away to the strangers on my street And hum a tune from long ago And hum a tune from long ago Just hoping that a breeze would pass my way And lift my hair up to the sky and then i’ll say I got a reason to look up at the sun I got a reason to hear the birds chirping I got a reason to hear the pitter patter of the children walking by And they’re laughing and they’re screaming And they’re laughing and they’re screaming I could be just a little old lady who’s angry But I think I’m scared out of my mind Or so I’m a child who’s lost his sense of time Usually I smoke a cigarette or two but I don’t know why Then i’ll put on some TV show i hate but i don’t know why Then i’ll cry at a picture that i took but i don’t know why Then i’ll put on some lipstick that i found It smells like clay, it’s old Older than me probably They don’t seem to notice anymore They don’t seem to notice Notice themselves on the run On the run On the run

I made a totem it was staring ‘cross the table at me I was so proud i gave a name to it and took it to sleep And no one had one like you And no one seemed to care One day I woke up and the totem it had a big scar And so I went and bought another with my shiny blue card I stood in line and saw a thousand other people like me Running with totems in their hand in black and silver and green From totem trophy then to trinket you lost your meaning I had the first one like you, little totem And no one seemed to care Another sad, sad totem, on its way out Another sad, sad trinket, lingering around -- Counterpoint in wings Dancing in the light Cut by dark Punctuated by the rings Ring ring Vibrations Metal drops Interrupted by spotlight Glaring now Cutting Counterpoint: we’re dancing in the light Strings plucked Basement bass vibrating through the anxiety Spectrum on the wall The strings slow it down Bring me back They’re puppeteering the calm Slowly rock Wave in the current beat Warm lights Dark contrast Smooth waves washing Puppeteering the calm Quiet mind Be still Counterpoint: we’re dancing in the light

everybody can see through my window everybody can see in my brain everybody’s got morbid assumptions everybody’s all acting the same but they think they’re all different everybody got skin in this game now everybody’s they’re worst enemy everybody don’t have to be outraged 'cause everybody can get up and leave most of them can’t afford it my city’s coming down we’ll burn it to the ground we’ll never end up found don’t wait for me i’m begging please listen to me i’m begging please don’t wait the city’s coming down let’s burn it to the ground we’ll never end up found you see the worst abuse it’s coming through the news it folds back into you don’t wait for me i’m begging please listen to me i’m begging please why can’t you see that all you do is wait

Never felt peace or guilt Every you will subdue Photo fades Just waste me away In your room winter blooms Coldest air freeze our tears Numb to pain Just waste me away Moments old turn to stone Stand outside ‘til we die Truth it fades Just waste me away Moments turn to stone Stand out in the cold I’m not even listening Waste me like a child Throw me to the fire Then i’ll start to fade away Mornings all alone Was it worth it all? You will never tell me Waste me like a child Throw me to the fire Then i’ll start to fade away

when I sleep I see your window it’s sealed shut and I can’t get through and i can’t wake up i can’t wake up can’t wake up i can’t wake up without you it’s hard now to let go cause I need need a connection if I dream it it might all work out if I wait all night wait all night wait all night wait all night would you come? would you come before I grow old? my friends they are all liars they’re happy and I’m dragging them down and I wish I could wish I could wish I could wish I could say something right so I can keep them around lock up all the doors and wait for the sun to come out i don’t know why I still struggle with all this self doubt

this is one hell of a place interface set up to let the bomb drop killer in a bed of lace a little taste of the power then you don't stop i don't wanna suffer eating from the deepest sea blissfully tell your friends they should try it while his only energy comes to be from a saltwater diet you get all your nutrients from innocence tell me, does she fill your hunger? oh my god, in his defense at present tense i'm not healthier, stronger we’re all kids in this aquarium eat chemicals until we’re dumb and no one notices the trouble at the top of the water until we’re slaughtered i don't wanna suffer